Tips for keeping your guest list manageable and getting to your wedding day guilt-free cause you didn't invite Aunt Sally's second cousin who you have never met in your life :P 

1. Create separate lists and then come together...as you and your significant other begin the process of planning your wedding, it is very likely that there are going to be a few (if not several) things that you disagree on...and the guest list is likely to make that list. In order to make this part of the planning as painless as possible, I suggest creating separate lists and then coming together and going through the below decision tree from bridebook.co.uk. 

The most important question to ask yourselves is the final one, "Can you imagine your big day without them?". Think 5-10 years down the road here, who do you think will still be with you? If they have faded from this future vision of your life, then maybe think twice about whether or not they really need to be a part of your big day.

2. Decide whether or not you will invite kids...This is often a hard one for couples to decide on because there are simply a lot of nuances. If you want to have an adult-only wedding though, you will need to be explicit. Often times, people assume that their whole family is invited if they receive a wedding invitation (which is a totally normal assumption to make, don't worry folks, I am not knocking you on this one), but if that will not be the case, make sure you specify. You can say something like...

• Although we love your little ones, this will be an adult-only affair. Feel free to take a night to yourselves and enjoy some "adult-time" with us.

• Although we adore your children, due to budget/space constraints we ask that only adults attend.

• We love your kids but thought you might like a night off. Adults only please!

• Respectfully, an adult occasion (18+). Infants under 12 months welcome.

If you have a large number of families with younger children and your wedding will be out of town, you could consider setting up a babysitter(s) for the night to offer as an alternative for parents that want to come, but can't leave their little ones at home. (But of course, don't feel like you have to, just an option!)

3. Plus ones...Okay, slight rant moment, this is one that I think people make harder on themselves than necessary. I have seen many a girlfriend waiver over whether or not this friend should get to bring her new boyfriend or if it's too early or are they so in love it's fine??? It is madness!

My simple suggestion is this, if someone is not married, engaged, or in a relationship when you get engaged, then they don't get a plus one.

Now, there are some caveats here, if you are planning on being engaged for years, then this may not be fair, but if you are marching down the typical 12 month engagement timeline, I think this is more than fair.

Done. End of story. Next :)

4. Have the "parents' friends" conversation early...If your parents (or in-laws) are paying for your wedding (or even if they are not), it is likely that they may want to invite a few of their own friends. While a few long-time family friends may not be a big deal, 20 of their closest gals and gents may pose an issue. My best advice on this one would be to sit down with your parents early to discuss expectations and boundaries. As with any misunderstanding, a lack of communication is often at the heart of guest list issues with your parents and in-laws. Being clear and deciding together what will work is your best bet for making sure that everyone is heard and that a mutual resolution is decided upon. 

One other thing that I would highly encourage here (and with any tough wedding decisions) is that each "child" in the relationship needs to have this conversation with their own parents (i.e. the Bride should not be directly trying to negotiate this conversation with her soon-to-be mother-in-law). The reason for this is that often times these relationships are the most tender, and especially during this season as you begin to spread your wings and truly leave the nest.

5. Stick to your guns and do what is best for you and your partner...My last and most important piece of advice on the guest list is to ensure that whatever decision you make is the best one for you and your partner. The biggest regrets that people have from their wedding often stems from allowing other people to influence their decisions beyond what they were comfortable with. In this (and every wedding decision), stick to your guns, speak your truth, but of course say it all in kindness and grace. 

You deserve to have the wedding that you are dreaming of, so don't let Aunt Sally's crazy requests throw you off course. As a great penguin once said, "Smile and wave boys, smile and wave!".